How to Be More Confident

Confidence is important for positive social interactions, performing well in school, and advancing your career. If you feel like your confidence is low, you might shy away from new opportunities or avoid things that you find difficult. With these tips and tricks, you can work toward building your confidence and raising your self-esteem to tackle anything that life throws at you. Becoming more confident takes time, so keep going, even if it gets tough.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Challenge your negative thoughts.

1. Try to catch yourself when you think bad things about yourself. If you notice a negative thought, question it to see if it’s actually true. When you start to question your negative self-talk, you can adjust your thinking over time.^[1]
   
   • For example, if you think something like, “My friends probably don’t like me,” try asking yourself, “Is that true? Didn’t my friend just invite me to hang out last week?”
   • Or, if you think something like, “I’ll never pass this test,” ask yourself, “How do you know? Can you tell the future?”

[Edit]Use positive self-talk.

1. Repeat phrases every day until you start to believe them. Take a few moments before you go to work or school to look at yourself in the mirror and remind yourself of your positive characteristics. You can either say something that you believe about yourself or something that you would like to believe about yourself. Try saying things like:^[2]
   
   • “I am an intelligent person.”
   • “I am a good father.”
   • “I have accomplished many important things in my life.”
   • “People enjoy spending time with me.”

[Edit]Make a list of your positive qualities.

1. It might seem silly, but sit down and write out a list. Start with 5 things that you like about yourself and try to add something to the list every day. If you can’t think of anything, try asking your loved ones what they like about you to get you started.^[3]
   
   • For example, you could write, “I’m kind, I’m loving, I’m passionate about art, I’m creative, and I’m a good friend.”

[Edit]Stand up straight and make eye contact with people.

1. Body language is a huge indicator of confidence. When you interact with others, be sure to keep your head and chin up, stand up straight, and look people in the eyes when you talk to them. Keep your hands out of your pockets and plant your feet in a wide stance.^[4]
   
   • If you’re listening to someone else talk, practice active listening skills by nodding your head and making eye contact.

[Edit]Be honest with yourself.

1. In some areas of life, you might still have a lot to learn. Being confident doesn’t mean overestimating your own abilities; instead, try to recognize where you might be slightly lacking, then work to improve that area.^[5]
   
   • For example, if you just started a new job, you probably don’t know everything about the company yet. Spend some time learning from your coworkers to do the best job that you can do.

[Edit]Spend time with people who appreciate you.

1. Negative people tend to lower your confidence. Instead, spend time with friends and family members who inspire you and push you to be your best self. You’ll know someone is good to be around if you feel excited and happy to hang out with them.^[6]
   
   • People who lower your confidence might make disparaging remarks about you or tell you that your goals are dumb. It probably feels draining to hang out with them, and you might be subconsciously avoiding them.
   • If you want to make a new group of friends, try joining a club to meet people interested in a hobby of yours.

[Edit]Learn to say “no.”

1. You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. If you’re feeling overwhelmed and don’t want to take on another responsibility, say “no.” It will be tough at first, but once you practice it, it will become second nature.^[7]
   
   • Saying “no” can often feel like we’re disappointing friends or family members. However, overwhelming yourself with responsibilities will only make you feel worse, and it can lead to lower self-esteem.

[Edit]Wear clean clothes and practice good hygiene.

1. When you look good, you feel good, too. Try to shower every day, brush your hair, clean your teeth, and put on clean clothes. If you like makeup or jewelry, wear that too! Try to present yourself in a way that makes you feel confident.^[8]
   
   • If you’re itching for a new wardrobe but don’t want to break the bank, try hitting up a thrift store in your area.

[Edit]Do something you enjoy every day.

1. Make yourself happy by doing something fun. It could be a craft, an art piece, a nature walk, a hike, a jog, or even reading a good book. Spend 15 minutes doing something that you like to boost your mood and improve your overall self-esteem.^[9]
   
   • Try taking a break from technology while you do this, too. It can be nice to step away from the screens for a while.

[Edit]Forgive yourself for your mistakes.

1. Try to remember that you’re only human. Everyone makes mistakes, and you’re no different! Try to forgive yourself for things you did in the past so you can move on. Don’t hold yourself to a higher standard than everyone else.^[10]
   
   • If you’re having trouble forgiving yourself for something, try asking if you’d forgive a friend for the same mistake. Then, use that forgiveness on yourself.

[Edit]Exercise regularly.

1. Try to get 30 minutes of moderate exercise per day. Not only will it make you feel stronger and healthier, exercising releases chemicals in your brain that make you feel happier. It will boost your overall mood and it can break up your day if you're feeling stuck.^[11]
   
   • Exercising doesn’t have to mean going to a gym and getting your pump on. You could swim, jog, do yoga, jump rope, or do an at-home workout routine.

[Edit]Learn a new skill.

1. Do something outside of your own comfort zone. If you’ve never tried playing chess before, play a few online games to get the hang of it. If you aren’t the best cook, try making a dish you’ve never had. Build your confidence in smaller areas to improve your overall self-esteem.^[12]
   
   • Try to expand your comfort zone slowly and steadily over time.

[Edit]Get help from a mental health professional.

1. If you’re really struggling with your confidence, a professional can help. They’ll be able to find the root of your low confidence so you can challenge your thoughts and break any negative thought patterns. A mental health professional can also help you work toward other goals, like improving your relationships or making changes in your life.^[13]
   
   • If you’re a college student, check out the mental health resources on campus. You might be able to see a mental health professional for free.

[Edit]Tips

• Improving your confidence takes time. Don’t give up!

[Edit]Related wikiHows

• Build Self Confidence
• Build Self Confidence
• Feel Confident
• Regain Confidence

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/self-esteem/art-20045374
2. ↑ [v161308_b02]. 19 March 2020.
3. ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/raising-low-self-esteem/
4. ↑ https://www.businessinsider.com/body-language-tricks-appear-more-confident-2016-3#-6
5. ↑ https://hbr.org/2011/04/how-to-build-confidence
6. ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/raising-low-self-esteem/
7. ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/raising-low-self-esteem/
8. ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/03/smarter-living/how-to-improve-self-confidence.html
9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201205/building-confidence-and-self-esteem
10. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/self-esteem/art-20045374
11. ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/03/smarter-living/how-to-improve-self-confidence.html
12. ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/03/smarter-living/how-to-improve-self-confidence.html
13. ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/regain-your-confidence

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